Week 10 EOC: Lawyer jokes

• ·         A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him.She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand." Not one hand went up . . . . so she took them home and ate them.

• ·         Many years ago, a junior partner in a firm was sent to a far-away state to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released. Excited about his success, the attorney telegraphed the firm: "Justice prevailed." The senior partner replied in haste: "Appeal immediately."

• ·         Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.

• ·         "You're a high-priced lawyer! If I give you $500, will you answer two questions for me?" "Absolutely! What's the second question?"

• ·         Lawyer’s creed – a man is innocent until proven broke.

• ·         What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should? Stick his bill up his rear.

• ·         What do lawyers and sperm cells have in common? One in every million becomes a human being.